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cabinpres_fic) wrote2012-04-03 07:26 am
cabinpres_fic) wrote2012-04-03 07:26 am
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PROMPT POST PART IV
Please see the most recent MOD NOTE
(updated 6 June)
Welcome everybody. How you got here I have no idea but thank you for coming and welcome again, nonetheless . As you may have gathered this is a Fic Prompting Meme dedicated solely to the hilarious and oh-so-addictive BBC Radio 4 sitcom - Cabin Pressure. I'm aiming for this to be pretty anything goes - but in order for everything to run smoothly, there are a few guidelines. Don't worry - they're not too restrictive.
FILLING GUIDELINES
As you probably all know - our meme now has it's very own database created and maintained by the great Enigel. It both catalogues each and every prompt that we post and provides links to fills. You can find it here: Google Spreadsheet
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REPROMPTING
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REALLY IMPORTANT ADDENDUM
According to numerous Child Safety laws it is illegal to provide pornographic material to minors. Seeing that the majority of the stuff we have here is rather adult in nature, this Meme is consequently an 18+ zone. Failing to comply to this rule could result in the Meme getting shut down. So if you're here and you're under 18 please back button now.
+ Please do not post anything regarding minors in a sexual situation. It really doesn't matter how tasteful or crass it is, there are laws that classify that sort of thing as child pornography and as such, I'm afraid we're going to have to go with the attitude that safe is better than sorry.
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Other than that - go crazy guys. Any problems please just message me and I'll try my best to work it out.
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Martin is a secret single father
(Anonymous) 2012-04-06 08:59 pm (UTC)(link)The MJN crew find out. How do they react to little Crieff? Does Douglas take a shine to the kid (who happily inherited his father's vibrant ginger) and tries to teach him the ways of the world [i.e., how to steal sweets, charm the ladies etc]?
Re: Martin is a secret single father
(Anonymous) 2012-04-06 09:07 pm (UTC)(link)Re: Martin is a secret single father
Re: Martin is a secret single father
Re: Martin is a secret single father
(Anonymous) 2012-04-07 02:33 am (UTC)(link)FILL: Champion of the World (1/?)
CAROLYN: It's not that I won't, Martin, I can't. How many times do I have to tell you? This is a loss-making company, which could fold at any moment! Anyway, I don't pay Arthur!
MARTIN: But he lives with you, so he gets all his food and lodging for free!
CAROLYN: Martin, let me nip this very much in the bud. Any suggestion of you coming to live with us -
MARTIN: Oh, god, no! No, no, no, no! What about Douglas, you pay him, don't you?
CAROLYN: Yes, yes I pay him, because I have to pay him. Because he's not like you. If I stopped paying him, he'd stop coming to work . . . in the limited sense of the word "work" that applies to Douglas.
MARTIN: You . . . could . . . cut his pay, though.
CAROLYN: You want me to cut Douglas' pay?
MARTIN: No, I-I don't want you to, I'm just saying . . . you could. Theoretically. Split it between us. It's not unreasonable; we do the same job! Well, why should he get all the pay? I mean, have you ever thought about the way I live at home?
CAROLYN: Not, I'm delighted to say, for a single second.
MARTIN: Yes, well, maybe you should. I...
MARTIN exhales heavily.
MARTIN: I have a son. He's living with me full time now. I could make it on my own, but I can't make it with both of us.
CAROLYN: What.
MARTIN: His mother is in Africa studying tuberculosis. I have him for the year.
CAROLYN: Well there's your problem! You should have asked her for maintenance!
MARTIN: I can't ask her for maintenance when she's working for nothing!
CAROLYN: My God. It's a whole family of martyrs.
MARTIN: It's not FUNNY. It's my CHILD. If I can't feed him, I have to go somewhere else. I can live on dry toast and Arthur's cooking but he can't.
CAROLYN: I'll... think about it.
*
Danny loves cars the way Martin loves planes. He's lucky, because cars are far easier to lay his hands on. He and Martin fix not only the van, but also the cars of all the students (at a reasonable hourly rate).
"Gloves!" Martin calls out.
"Gloves!" Danny cries, slapping the work gloves into Martin's hands.
"Pan!"
"Pan!"
"Wrench!"
"Wrench!"
Martin loosens the drain plug and manages to get it free without dirtying himself. He grins at Danny and Danny grins back, gap-toothed where both his premolars have come out at once. the oil drains into the pan.
Martin takes out the oil filter. "Here, what do you think?" he asks, handing it to Danny.
Danny holds it and frowns. "Sarah," he says. It's Sarah's car. "I think you need a new filter. This one is all full of yuck."
"Okay, Danny!" Sarah says. The advantage of using a nine-year-old boy in business is that the client never says no.
"I'll go to the store, Dad," Danny says. It's around the corner and down a bit.
"Good lad."
Danny starts running. Martin scoots out from under the car.
*
Danny has a scholarship to Saint George Primary School, but he's a day scholar. Much as Martin would miss him, he really wishes the boy was a boarder. Then he would be sure Danny ate dinner as well as lunch.
He has... an onion. He can work with that. He looks in the fridge. Bridget has some spaghetti in marinara sauce that's been there for two days. "Are you going to eat this, Bridget?"
Bridget looks up from her textbooks. "Oh! I forgot it was there. No, go ahead."
Martin sautees the chopped onion until soft, then adds in the spaghetti. It's enough. He's a beggar, he knows; she would have eaten that. But he'll beg for his son.
Danny hoovers his half up. "Paris tomorrow, Dad!" he says brightly.
"Right you are!"
"Will you help me with my maths?"
"You don't need help with maths. Have you done your history?"
"Yes! I did it already with Will. It's a history of the bicycle from Napoleon to the Tour De France. I got the idea from the Paris trip!"
Martin frowns. "I don't think Napoleon had a bicycle."
"He did! It was called a dandy-horse! You pushed it with your feet. They didn't add pedals until 1860!"
"Really? What was the point of that?"
"Well, I don't know!" Danny throws up his hands, looking just like his mother. He has her face. Martin misses her for a minute.
Of course they hadn't planned Danny. They'd only been on two dates, for heaven's sake, and Beth was in medical school and Martin was studying for his pilot's license. Beth didn't even realize she was pregnant until she was six months along. She told Martin, on that panicky night, that she'd always been irregular; she'd had a period two months ago! Did they use protection? Neither of them could remember. She pissed on four sticks and they all came up positive, then they both went to her doctor in the morning, and found out why doctors never treated people close to them. It was too late for any alternatives. Danny already had little fingers and a face.
Really, it was amazing that Danny turned out so clever and handsome and healthy. He has reddish-brown hair, halfway between Martin and Beth, and Martin's blue eyes and Beth's smile and Martin's weird toes and Beth's eyebrows. He's always known Martin was his dad but he's lived with his mum in the house she inherited from her mum until she got this once-in-a-lifetime chance.
He doesn't deserve Danny. He especially doesn't deserve the way Danny smiles at him.
*
Morning. "Wake up!" Danny cries. He shakes Martin's shoulder. "Wake up!"
"I'm up! I'm up. Why are you up? It's Saturday."
"Here's your tea, and here's your toast, and here's your uniform! I ironed it. Did I do it right this time?"
Danny has been working on his ironing. Martin rubs his face and focuses. Danny...has almost done it right. "Nearly, Danny, but you see how the collar has a flaw in the middle there?"
"Oh!" Danny scowls at the collar.
"I'll do it again and you can watch. And the tie is a bit of a mess," Martin says. "But the toast is perfect." He ruffles Danny's hair.
"Toast is easier than ties. I'm going to learn it," Danny says.
"Of course you are! Just not there yet."
Danny watches intently as Martin dresses. When Martin puts his hat on, he beams.
Martin feels a slow bubble in his stomach. He could... he could. "Danny," he says. "How would you like to go to Paris?"
Danny jumps up and down like he's four years old again.
*
Re: FILL: Champion of the World (1/?)
(Anonymous) 2012-04-07 08:00 am (UTC)(link)Re: FILL: Champion of the World (1/?)
Re: FILL: Champion of the World (1/?)
Re: FILL: Champion of the World (1/?)
Re: FILL: Champion of the World (1/?)
It would fit a bit better if Danny were Douglas's kid, but well.
Re: FILL: Champion of the World (1/?)
Re: FILL: Champion of the World (1/?)
Re: FILL: Champion of the World (1/?)
Re: FILL: Champion of the World (1/?)
Re: FILL: Champion of the World (1/?)
Re: FILL: Champion of the World (1/?)
FILL: Champion of the World (2/?)
CAROLYN: No! I'm not having any stray children on the flight!
MARTIN: I can put him in the flight locker.
CAROLYN: No!
MARTIN: He wants to be with his dad and I want to be with him! He scarcely weighs anything and he can sleep in my bed. It's a short flight and besides, he's already here. If I have to take him home and find a babysitter, I'll be late for work.
CAROLYN: This is blackmail.
MARTIN: Isn't! Anyway, I'm owed a bit of blackmail in lieu of pay.
CAROLYN: It won't work!
MARTIN: He's quite bendy. I'll put him in my flight bag.
CAROLYN: Martin, stop threatening to put your son in durance vile! Yes, all right, he can come! But he eats your food and sleeps in your bed and stays with Arthur in the galley!
MARTIN: Accepted.
*
DOUGLAS: Well. Well, well, well. Who is this?
MARTIN: Danny, Douglas. Douglas, Danny. Danny is my son.
DANNY: Hello.
DOUGLAS: Hello. My goodness, a Windsor knot. I see you take after your father.
DANNY: Anything worth doing is worth doing correctly.
DOUGLAS: And what if there is no correct way?
DANNY: There's always a correct way.
DOUGLAS: The resemblance is suddenly blinding. Well, what a surprise, Martin.
MARTIN: Most of the time, Danny lives with his mum.
DANNY: But Mum is in Botswana and I'm staying with Dad so I can stay in school and it's brilliant! Dad lets me balance his books! It always comes out even!
DOUGLAS: Even? Well done. Mine usually come out ahead.
*
ARTHUR: Wow! Are you Skip's son?
DANNY: Yes! My name is Daniel Crieff and I'm nine! I go to Saint George Primary School.
ARTHUR: That's brilliant! Are you flying?
DANNY: Dad said I can come!
ARTHUR: BRILLIANT!
*
MARTIN: Okay, so you strap into the jump seat in the galley for takeoff. You're not supposed to be on board, so don't go past the curtain, all right?
DANNY: Yes, dad!
MARTIN: Have you been to the toilet?
DANNY: Da-ad!
MARTIN: You can't go once the passengers are loaded, it's on the other side of the curtain.
DANNY: I'm fine!
MARTIN: But then when we're in flight, you can come look over my shoulder.
*
ARTHUR: It's only a short flight, so we're only serving drinks, and I won't serve a meal to your dad and Douglas, which is really disappointing, because I've been working on this amazing new recipe for Meal-In-A-Bowl! Four courses all mixed together so you can have them at the same time!
DANNY: Wow!
ARTHUR: And this is the drinks trolley! I have tomato juice, and orange juice, and pineapple juice, and fancy water!
DANNY: What makes water fancy?
ARTHUR: Bubbles!
DANNY: So it's just Coke?
ARTHUR: No, it's Coke without the sugar or the flavour.
DANNY: Oh. And what's on the bottom?
ARTHUR: Gin, which is a bit nasty. And whisky, which is even nastier. And lager, which is funny tasting. And vodka, which tastes of burning.
DANNY: Oh. I don't like burnt flavour. I used to burn breakfast and Dad had to eat it anyway, even though he didn't like it, because we didn't have any more.
ARTHUR: No, vodka isn't nice at all. Would you like some pineapple juice?
DANNY: Yes please!
CAROLYN bursts through the curtain: No! No pineapple juice for the pilots! Only tea or coffee, and he's too young for coffee, so that leaves tea.
DANNY: Oh, okay.
DANNY sighs.
CAROLYN: Arthur, go serve the drinks. Danny, go up and bother the pilots.
*
DANNY: Is that France?
DOUGLAS: Unless the compass has decided my personality is more magnetic than the North Pole, yes it is.
MARTIN: It's almost a shame, flights this short. We've barely taken off and it's time to land. But look, off to the right, there's the Atlantic!
DANNY: It's beautiful.
MARTIN: It really is. I love it up here.
MARTIN sighs.
MARTIN: If we kept going this direction, we'd bump into your mum. It would take hours and hours, though.
DANNY: Dad! I know that Botswana is further than Paris. I'm not FIVE.
MARTIN: Yes, fine, I'm sorry!
DOUGLAS: Why did you split up, then?
MARTIN: Douglas! That's none of your business!
DANNY: I don't know why people always ask that. Most of the kids I know don't have parents who live together. I think it's brilliant having two houses. Dad's house is loads of fun! It's full of college students with really bad cars that they let me work on.
DOUGLAS: I suppose it is normal. I have a little girl around your age, but she lives with her mum and she likes ponies.
MARTIN: And fish.
DOUGLAS: My daughter was not at all attached to that fish.
MARTIN: Danny, time to go back and strap in so we can land. You can't stay here because you might lose your balance and fall into the instruments.
DANNY: Okay!
*
In the airport, Danny runs ahead to the money changer to get some euros. He's brilliant with maths. Martin is good as well, he has to be, but Danny is miles ahead of his age group. It's the basis for his scholarship.
But after the transaction, Danny trudges back. He hands Martin the fold of euros without raising his head. "What's wrong?" Martin asks.
"I started talking to him in French and he switched to English," Danny says. "I'm not good enough in French." He sniffs and rubs his face.
Martin's stomach clenches. Danny is facing renewal of his scholarship and they want more than just maths this time. Danny lags in other subjects. Not badly, but he's not the top of his class, and they want to give their money to a well-rounded child. Danny's been hitting French and history hard. "It's all right," Martin says, but his voice doesn't even convince himself.
Danny burst into tears. "I want to go to Oxford!"
"I know! I know! Danny, you have years and years and years." Starting now, of course, showing people what he can do from an early age to win the money that Martin just doesn't have and never will. Danny wants to design racecars. To do that, he needs to study engineering at a good school, make a splash, make something of himself the way that Martin never did.
He kneels down and hugs Danny. God, he doesn't want his son to be a failure. Not that he would love Danny any less for it; he just wants Danny to fly.
*
Re: FILL: Champion of the World (2/?)
(Anonymous) 2012-04-07 06:21 pm (UTC)(link)I like the mix of prose and script that you using!
Re: FILL: Champion of the World (2/?)
Looking forward to the next part!
Re: FILL: Champion of the World (2/?)
FILL: Champion of the World (3/?)
Danny swings his hand. "That's very efficient," he says, but he still leans against Martin on the platform.
Carolyn returns with the train fare, Arthur bouncing at her heels. "Danny! Martin! I just had the most brilliant idea! Danny can stay in my room! Like a sleepover! And we can watch movies in French and have, um, French chips and French pizza!"
Danny clutches Martin's hand so hard it hurts. "Okay," he says, very quietly.
"Brilliant!"
Martin knows Danny doesn't want to, but he doesn't know how to say no. He never has done with the Shappeys.
*
Martin has dinner with Douglas and Carolyn. Danny is having dinner with Arthur. He's distracted. Dammit.
"Full story, now, before I beat you," Carolyn says.
"Fine. Beth was a medical student. We dated. She fell pregnant. Now she's a doctor, and she has custody of Danny but it's amicable, and she's in Botswana for a year studying tuberculosis and I'm looking after Danny in my attic room, and he wants to design race cars, and he's a great kid. And, and, that's all. Okay?"
"Yes, fine," Carolyn says.
"And he needs new school clothes soon, because he's putting on a growth spurt," Martin says quietly. "His shoes are starting to pinch. It's not a state school, they have a very specific uniform, and I cannot begin to work out where to get the money."
Carolyn clears her throat. Dinner is very quiet after that.
*
Of course Arthur knocks on his door late at night. Martin is still awake and waiting, so when he sees Danny standing there crying, he kneels and hugs him. "He said he wanted to go home, but we can't get home until tomorrow, so--"
"Goodnight, Arthur. Thanks."
"I'm sorry," Danny sobs.
Arthur closes the door behind him. "Come on, up into bed with me. We'll read your book and it will be okay again."
Danny's book is, of course, Danny, Champion of the World by Roald Dahl. Martin bought it for him when he was a toddler, even though it was far too old for him, and read it to him every time he could until they both had it memorized.
Martin turns to Danny's favourite part, when Danny takes the car to save his father. He reads: "At that point a wild and marvellous idea came to me.Why shouldn’t I go in the Baby Austin? I really did know how to drive."
Danny smiles. Martin tucks him under his arm and keeps reading.
*
Martin wakes up curled around Danny. Danny is still sleeping, but tear tracks stain his cheeks.
Martin is a terrible father. The worst. How can he cause his child so much worry and pain? How is he so incapable of soothing him? Why can't he make it better?
But he doesn't know how to fix it, any more than he knows how to fix the rest of his life.
*
MARTIN: There. Egg, cheese, croissant. That's protein, carbohydrate, and fat. Then you can have as much fruit as you want.
DANNY: Okay Dad.
DOUGLAS: I hear you will attend Oxford.
DANNY: I want to.
DOUGLAS: Well, when a Crieff wants something, he gets it. Your father is a model of tenacity.
DANNY: What does tenacity mean?
DOUGLAS: Perseverance?
DANNY frowns.
DOUGLAS: Stick-to-it-iveness. The quality of never giving up.
DANNY: Oh!
MARTIN: Really? A model?
DOUGLAS: Indeed. I only had to take my instrument rating once and that was enough of a stressor.
MARTIN: Oh.
*
FILL: Champion of the World (4/4)
DANNY: It's okay. I just missed my mum.
ARTHUR: I don't know how much I would miss my mum if I didn't live with her. I think a lot. Really a lot.
DANNY: Yeah.
ARTHUR: But your dad is brilliant. Did he tell you about when we were in Spain and we got stuck under a bridge in a baggage cart and he thought of lowering the tyres and then we got out from under the bridge?
DANNY: No!
ARTHUR: Well, we were in Spain, and we had to drive a baggage cart because there weren't any cars around and we had to get the plane engineer from Albacete, and then we got stuck under a low bridge, and we didn't know what to do, but your dad thought of lowering the tyres and it worked and it was brilliant!
DANNY: Dad can do anything. The zip broke on my backpack and he fixed it with a paperclip. And he can make dinner from an onion and a potato and it's really good.
ARTHUR: I can make Potato and Onion Delight from an onion and a potato and some chutney and an apple and blue food coloring!
DANNY: Dad can do it with just the onion and the potato.
ARTHUR: Wow.
*
DOUGLAS: He will take Oxford by storm, you know.
MARTIN: I want him to get what he wants.
DOUGLAS: My daughter wants to be a princess. I don't think she's fully grasped that means marrying Prince Harry.
MARTIN: God forbid.
DOUGLAS: No. I'm not keen on the idea. There are some rather handsome European princes, though. Prince Andrea of Monaco, for example, or Prince Felix of Denmark is nearer her age.
MARTIN: Is this the end goal of the smuggling game? Trade up from a cheese sandwich to the hand of a European prince?
DOUGLAS: Well, it wasn't before. It might take some time, but she is only fourteen.
MARTIN: Oxford seems such a minor goal now.
DOUGLAS: There are scholarships.
MARTIN: A bursary. I've looked into it. Money is't the issue. But he needs to be exceptional, Douglas. He needs to not fail tests because he didn't have enough to eat the night before, and not be sent home for dress code violations, and to make all his maths competitions even when they're across the country. He needs all that.
DOUGLAS: He has maths competitions?
MARTIN: He's a mathlete.
DOUGLAS: Of course he is.
MARTIN: Very strong in mathletics.
DOUGLAS: Please stop.
*
CAROLYN: I have three pay options for you.
MARTIN: All right.
CAROLYN: First, the Douglas. I take half Douglas's salary and give it to you. Second, the Martin. I pay you minimum wage for the hours I require of you. Third, the Danny. I pay for Danny's school fees, uniform, food, housing, and anything else the boy requires, until such time as he he no longer in your care. Understood?
MARTIN: The Martin.
CAROLYN: You don't wish to think this over?
MARTIN: I can look after my son. I only need honest pay for honest work.
CAROLYN: All right. I'll draw up the papers this afternoon. It's retroactive to this week. I can't go any further.
MARTIN offers his hand. CAROLYN shakes it.
*
MARTIN: All right, do you have the list?
DANNY: Yes!
MARTIN: First, shoes. Then, pants. Then, trousers.
DANNY: Then food! There's a special on potatoes.
MARTIN: Is there? Good eye, my boy.
DANNY smiles.
*
the end.
Re: FILL: Champion of the World (4/4)
Re: FILL: Champion of the World (4/4)
Re: FILL: Champion of the World (4/4)
(Anonymous) 2012-06-10 01:10 am (UTC)(link)Re: FILL: Champion of the World (4/4)
DANNY: I want to.
DOUGLAS: Well, when a Crieff wants something, he gets it. Your father is a model of tenacity.
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
Re: FILL: Champion of the World (4/4)
Re: FILL: Champion of the World (4/4)
(Anonymous) - 2012-06-11 00:46 (UTC) - ExpandRe: FILL: Champion of the World (4/4)
Re: FILL: Champion of the World (4/4)
(Anonymous) - 2012-08-13 12:20 (UTC) - ExpandRe: FILL: Champion of the World (4/4)